Lesson Learned

[heidintx66]

Well tomorrow I go to the doctor to figure out the next step since my treatments aren't working (see my description if you aren't sure what I mean) and I am NOT looking forward to this appointment at all. I've been fighting this for 9 years and now nothing is working so how do I fight now? Good Gosh all mighty I wish someone had some answers for me!!!

I met a friend on here and I figured out a little bit about myself... I so desperately want to meet someone that I push people away because I freak out when I don't hear from them for a few days... although I would never do that myself to someone that has been talking to me because I wouldn't want them to think I just instantly lost interest in them. But then again I have to question my own insecurities if I worry that much about it.

Well lesson learned about myself, I just have to tune myself down a little and just be happy for the moments I have. This same friend reminded me of an old song I used to love dearly, Garth Brooks The Dance and I sat and listened to it today and of course I cried because of the direction my life is going... I also cried because I acted like a complete fool towards someone I was really beginning to like and now I have probably lost because of my own insecurities and stupidity... but then again back to the song The Dance... at least I can say I am thankful for the moments I did have even if it was only for a moment or two. I guess it's like the saying, it's better to have loved than not loved at all?? I think that's right, so in the same way, it's better to have smiled, or laughed, or known someone than not at all.